Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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