who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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