he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
