I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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