last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
