He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
false alarm, still single
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