Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize
