toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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