if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
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Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
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No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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