do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
