it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
