my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize