Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
