In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
