talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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