my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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