we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
