I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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