How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
