Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
