Who wears a wallet chain?!
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
