we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
