Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
