This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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