Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
