We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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