Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
