do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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