I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
