i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She needs sedatives and a leash
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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