I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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