I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
