I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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