wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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