It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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