Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize