On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
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I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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