her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize