Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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