I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
