The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
this hospital has no fireball
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
