we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
