She said her name was "party"
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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