okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize