I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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