I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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