yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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