do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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