I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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