Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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