my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
