he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
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