saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize