his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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