Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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