When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
