between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I can feel your judgement through the phone
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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