Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
