yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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