So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
