I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Edward fifth and chaser hands
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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