Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
