"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
