You're completely useless in the revolution.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
